Frequently Asked Questions


Q: "Where are you guys located?"
A: Our mommies won't let us give out our address, but we're generally located in the Flint, Michigan area.  Flint is currently ranked the 3rd most dangerous city in America...take that, East St. Louis!
Q: "How big is your league?"
A: Our membership is around a dozen players.  However, at any given game we only average about six players.  The league also has members who don't play or rarely play for various reasons.
Q: "Do you have teams?"
A: Nope.  It can be hard enough to get the minimum number of players to show -- trying to get a specific set of guys to show regularly would be impossible.  The only time we have set teams is during the MLYCS.
Q: "If you don't have teams how can you be a league?"
A: We're a league because we wish to call ourselves such.  We could call ourselves big floppy donkey dicks if we wanted, but we'd rather call you that.
Q: "Does your "league," as you call it, have a leadership structure?"
A: Yes. Major League Yardball is headed by a Commission, which is headed by a Commissioner.  The Commission is made of three senior players, although Commission seats change all the time.  The league also has an Enforcer who ensures all rules are followed and a league President who makes sure all chairs are pushed in after Commission meetings.
Q: "Do you play other leagues?"
A: Yes we do.  Well, we used to.  In the last few years we stopped traveling to play other leagues.  However, we do still travel to Wheeling, West Virginia to play the MVWL -- the mother of all wiffle ball series.
Q:  Have you had any Celebrities play in your league?
A: There has never been an "A" list celebrity, but if your talking B or C list celebrities, then we've had our fair share. Mostly minor league baseball players with the occasional freak show candidate, porn star, and former major league players.  Since I'm not sure about the legality of it, there names will be stricken from the record. But if you really want to know who they were, just ask! 
Q: "What does it cost to play?"
A: Nothing...stupid. It's wiffle ball.  All wiffle ball related items are purchased by the Commission... except wiffle balls which Shawn Brown buys in bulk for .30 cents a package. 
Q: "What is your league's philosophy?"
A: That's a very good question, but some type of real question would be better. 
Q: "I often read about Jeff Blanchard.  Who is he?"
A: Jeff Blanchard, or Blanch, is a well known and recongnizable figure around Flint known for his love of coaching middle school sports (and we mean sports, as in all of them) and cheap brew. He is an old drinking buddy of MLY'ers. September 3rd is celebrated as Jeff Blanchard Day in MLY.
Q: "It seems that all you guys talk about is drinking."
A: Well, that's not a question.  At any rate, if you visit us much during the winter months you'll probably find lots of talk of drinking.  This is because when it's 30 f'n degrees below zero outside we're not usually playing much wiffle ball in the ol' yard.  We don't know how familiar you are with Michigan's winter climate or if you can correctly operate a light switch, so: Michigan winter = no wiffle ball.  Winter updates generally tend to be mindless filler with some entertainment value.  Cheers!
Q: "How often do you update?"
A: More than most sites -- having said that, not a whole lot.  If there is lots going on (summer months) we tend to update every Sunday night.  During the winter the updates are more like every two weeks or so. 
Q: "Why is your site kind of shitty?"
A: Kind of shitty?  Are you kidding?  Our site is shitty and we're the first to admit it.  We don't spend lots of time on things like design, style or class.  Our theory is that most sites are like the television show CSI: lots of flashy effects, but no substance.  We try to make our site like the television show Married with Children: entertainment through cheap, ribald humor and an occasional toilet flush. 
Q: "I've heard of the Neighborhood Quiz, what exactly is it?"
A:  The neighborhood Quiz is an invention of Phil Bradley one day skipping Arthur Dickerson's Class.  The quiz is basically a test of knowledge of the goings on in the neighborhood.  Who said what, who kicked who's ass in what sport, etc. 
Q: "What's with all the inside jokes?"
A: That question is like the Joe Miller Dudeland Express heading to Brent Jackson Station for a Scoopslam of Monuitude.  Yes, there are lots of inside jokes, but you have to understand that you are not our primary audience -- our players are.  The people for which this site is created and maintainted "get" all those inside jokes and are laughing while you're sitting at the computer getting fatter.  I guess that makes you an outsider.
Q: "How many stadiums do you have?"
A: Currently MLY resides in two facilities: Brown Stadium and Bradley Park.  At our peak in 2002 we had two additional facilities: Sharon Field and the Clark-Duff Gardens.  Clark-Duff Gardens was closed and then imploded.  Brian Sharon, of Sharon Field, was married, closed, then imploded.
Q: "Lots of leagues and wiffle ball groups hold tournaments.  Do you?"
A: Yes. The Peach Tree Invitational is a tournament we hold from time to time in the month of June.  There are no cash prizes and no entry fee.  It is an Invitational because we have a core group of teams we invite, but anyone who wants to jump in is welcome. 
Q: "Can I use the Major League Yardball name for my league?"
A: Shawn Brown purchased the name Major League Yardball through the 'persons conducting business under assumed name' in the Genesee County Courthouse.  Meaning that nobody can use the Major League Yardball name to profit for themselves. The same measure was also used for "Brown Stadium."
Q: "Can I ask you a question about your logo?  What's the deal with that logo?"
A: Every league has a symbol, ours is the little red running man, which we consider cooler than the movie by the same name.  The logo was abopted in 1996.  We kept it because it's fitting of MLY in two respects: we are a base-running league, and running is symbolic of progressivism. 
Q: "I've seen advertisements for the P.B.I.  What is it?"
A: The P.B.I is known as the Phil Bradley Invitational 9-ball pool championships.  This event began in 1998 and has continued on and off, with 22 tournaments played since the beginning.  Entry costs $5/player with the winner taking all, and 2nd place taking his/her money back. This is the tournament where Joe Miller had his $2 hat slapped off his $2 head by A-Tay after a heated battle. 
Q: "Dear MLY, do you think I'll ever grow up to be President?"
A: Nope.
Still have questions? Contact