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Almasy, Ben "Ball Coach"
School: University of Michigan
Age: Old Ball Coach
Position: INF, P, taking 10-10's to
the rack
Hometown: Mt. Morris, MI
Known for: Being the varsity baseball coach at SWA when the MLY boys were ripping some county ass during the 98 & 99
seasons. No Flint school will ever punish area teams like that again. Ben hits up exotic bars through
the Mount and then caps the night off with a trip to Gillies Coney Island to scope the talent and talk about waitresses.
He enjoys Cruisins, crown & water, and the cancelled ABC show Ultimate Love Test as well as hoeing out at
a moments notice. Currently the varsity head baseball coach at Mt Morris and not returning any calls.
Career Stats: A few clutch homeruns in the MMWA league
Blanchard, Jefferson "Blanch"
School: University of Michigan-Flint
Age: Fifty-Three, got me?
Position: SWA Schedule Advisor
Hometown: Flint, MI - Down The Tracks Bar
Known for: Rocking the massive fro
in the 70's playing hoops at Flint Central while getting dunked on repeatedly. Blanch is a classy drinking partner
when in a tough spot. He always has great stories to tell, sometimes about the types of cars he's ridden in.
Always goes for quantity over quality in beer selection. Loves to sing karaoke to his theme songs "We built this city on rock
n roll" and "Papa was a rolling stone", as well as losing substantial amounts of money playing Michigan Club Keno. Had a broken
ankle since 2001, finally had it fixed
Career Stats: Threw out a first pitch the
only time he attended a game.
Bradley, Phil "Philly"
School: You know the school
Age: 28
Position: INF, trying to stay off the field
Hometown: Flint, MI
Known for: Massive Gun Collection &
Weight Bench (which is never used). Hosts PBI pool tournaments as well as high school drinking parties where the beer had
to be hidden whenever somebody came in the room. Always umpiring at some weird school or location and getting his ass
ripped by angry parents, coaches, and umpires. Fell out of the back of a truck at the Barton City Labor Day Tournament.
Currently working on some broke down bridge in Detroit. Married in July
Career Stats: 412 H, 1134 AB, (.363 AVG) 118 HR, 241 RBI, 53
BB, 197 K
Brown, Shawn "Browny"
School: Saginaw Valley State/Mott College
Age: 33
Postion: P/ INF/ Setting up Christmas lights
Hometown: Quad City, IL
Known for: Having 9 Associates from Mott,
as well as being the Head Baseball Coach at the College. Also known for running the fog and bubble machines at full
blast while pumping some 80s hits (Cory Hart's 'Sunglasses at Night') and break dancing. Known for striking
out Derek Jeter in high school, eating daily and nightly at the local chinaman buffet, driving the Mott bus to Hell,
Michigan and other exotic places, getting vissed repeatedly (no longer, Viss was fired), and signing Trish Stratus' ass. Shawn loves
Mello Yello & former WWF wrestler/bodyguard Virgil; hates country music and anything that's not electric or all day! Married May
27, 2007.
Career Stats: 349 H, 908 AB, (.384 AVG), 92 HR, 227 RBI, 38 BB, 190 K
Clark, Thomas "Bud"
School: Northwood University/Art Van Institute
of Furniture/RC Willey's Institute of Furniture, Fashion, Media & Restaurant
Age: 26
Postion: P/ Shotgunning maple syrup (see
photo)
Hometown: Tawas, MI
Known for: Being the inspiration for the episode
of "Jawsons Creek" and advisor on the now defunct "Johnny and Me". Bud is legendary known throughout the world
as having a tally-wacker larger then yours. Bud enjoys shotgunning, shot-put, shots of rum, being shot at,
and Hatch. Hates Craig T Nelson, Dr. Pepper, Macon, Georgia, and drunken Hatch and his new former hometown of Las Vegas.
Lives in Michigan again
Career Stats: 171 H, 715 AB, (.239 AVG), 52 HR, 126 RBI, 35 BB, 189
K
Jones, Mike "Jonesie"
School: Soccer Zone University
Age: looks 12, is actually 28 and Asian
Position: P/Injured Reserve/Bent over the
toilet
Hometown: Flint, MI
Current Injury/Sickness: Torn Groin
Known for: Being the true heart
break kid. Always has a broken bone or sprain or some sort of exotic illness. Plays in 50 soccer leagues.
Enjoys talking online, playing online poker, keeping an online journal & drinking online Mr. Pibb. Mike hates vanilla
coke, milk, malk, and anything with alcohol, including alcoholic Mr. Pibb -- once took a sip of beer and was sick for
two weeks. Can throw a football 60 yards and run and make the catch (ala Mr. Perfect)
Career Stats: 305 H, 878 AB, (.347 AVG), 64 HR, 140 RBI, 56 BB, 133
K
Sharon, Brian "B-Shar or Brain"
School: Mott CC/St. Mary's College (Closed)
Age: Unknown
Position: P, INF, angry to the extreme
Hometown: From Parts Unknown
Known for: Always wearing the sunglasses,
which have been described as giving him "super-human" powers. Always willing to go on a road trip with the boys, and
always getting trashed in the process, with hilarious results!(Once went into a Steak N Shake, and devoured a Cheeseburger
and Fries in under 30 seconds, then not remembering he ate it, and MASS interview in 02) Being
angry at everything, including: jury duty, Denny's restaurants, the Sun, people who drive too fast, people who drive too slow,
the New York Yankees, any and all American Idols, screwballs, the notorious b.i.g, and Cherry Coke. Now married. Looks to
make a comeback in 07? Comeback failed miserably. Looking to make another comeback in 08? Failed Miserably
Career Stats: 204 H, 536 AB (.381 AVG), 64 HR, 161 RBI, 36 BB, 72 K
Taylor, Andrew "Ope"
School: Mott College/USPS
Age: 26
Position: P/ INF
Hometown: Flint, Michigan
Known for: Delivering mail to
the wrong address, as well as coming up with his own appointed name, Sir Ope of Balbowshire. Busted his ass running
down the hill at SW making a pickup. Busted his ass on some shoddy furniture Bud Clark sold. Founder of the A-Tay power-8
and lookin great, intensity in 10 cities drinking bonaza (pictured), and a member of Mott's esteemed fraternity
Chugalug House (banned ala Animal House). Comes up with a clutch hit, purchase, or saying when you least expect it. Is
a lifetime member of the Strohs Beer Fan Club, and currently umpires any and all games in the Flint area, with many ejections.
Career Stats: 369 H, 1051 AB, (.351 AVG), 91 HR, 220 RBI, 85 BB, 168 K
West, John "Johnny Cancer"
School: Jim Nortons Cancer Research Centre
Age: 26
Position: Bench with a Pipe
Hometown: South Side of Flint,
MI
Known for: Feature character in "Johnny
& Me", release date July 2047. Rips your ass every chance he gets. Loses substantial amounts
of money playing poker as well as on old 4th grade bets on the Buffalo Bills in the Super Bowl. John is sponsored
by Showstopper Cues in whatever he does or wherever he goes. He also smokes a cig, cigar, pipe, and dips all at
once, followed by a shot of Jimmy Beam (hence the name "Johnny Cancer"). Also known for smoking while lifting weights.
Once thought he was puking up blood, but then realized it was just red cake and code red mountain dew. Became 2nd member
of MLY married in October 2005.
Career Stats: 8 H, 32 AB (.250 AVG), 2 HR, 5 RBI, 1 BB, 14 K
Wickham, James "Monu"
School: FedEx Trucker's Choice Academy
Age: 26
Position: INF, P, getting closer with
a fattie (see photo)
Hometown: Flint, MI
Known for: Being the MLY Enforcer.
Using one-hundred-dollar bills to light cigars and then using fifty-dollar bills to extinguish them. Also known for keeping
a drunk Phil from driving a riding mower through Andrea’s uncle’s garage door, which would have been a felony.
Loves driving thru stop signs, the club, and chicken tacos as well as hitting animals with his semi and driving off without
stopping; hates chuck norris, stopping at stop signs, and celebrations nightclub.
Career Stats: 133 H, 843 AB, (.158 AVG), 33 HR, 76 RBI, 43 BB, 288 K
Lady The Lab "Bitch-trick"
School: Arizona State University
Age: 3
Position: Dropping a deuce
Hometown: Lennon, MI
Known for: Delaying games after stealing
a ball or taking a dump; never calms down, is always in your face! Spazoid-bitch-trick. The recipient of Dad's Tape
Head & Sock Head. Loves Luther Vandross, but hates Jimmy Fallon.
Career Stats: Dropped 8 deuces in one game (MLY Record)
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